150-170 (Great Int'l Beer Fest)

Come one, come all! This is an event to remember (if you're lucky). The Great International Beer Festival was on November 10th and really a lot of fun, despite having to stand in long lines for 2oz of beer.

The drive there was pretty uneventful but full of excitement. There was anticipation in the air. We were floored by being fleeced for $20 to park, but we had no choice. Oh, let's not forget that we had an extra ticket to sell. I (Wes) had to serve as the sales agent. I slid into the line and casually offered to save random strangers $5 by selling them my extra ticket. It's amazing how many people will pass on this offer - they must think it's illegal or something! After dropping the extra ticket and waiting in a 1/2 hour long line to get into the convention hall we had finally arrived. We walked into the hall and were immediately hit with the task of navigating this vast room filled with beer. We had only a small map, 3 two ounce cups and our spirited determination to guide us. The journey was as such:

Ipswich Winter Ale:
This is a very hoppy beer. Retha says it's "Wicked Hoppy". there are some obligatory spices there, but hops is the overwhelming taste and smell. There are some chocolaty malt hints mixed in with the hoppy aroma. 3 steins out of 5.

J.W. Dundee Pale Bock:
From the makers of Honey Brown comes this delightful beauty. Matt didn't quite think it was deserving of the bock name but Retha and I agreed that the beer seemed to be fine either way. There was a very sweet smell with stronger hops in the aroma than the taste. This somewhat fruity, slightly sour beer had none of the bitterness that it advertises - a great drinking beer. 3.75 steins out of 5.

Blue Point Toasted Lager:
Now, don't go pulling out your cream cheese, jelly and butter just yet. This toasted beer smelled surprisingly similar to peach ring candies and had a VERY fruity taste. There was a really bitter aftertaste that was "total hops" buy Matt's account. 2.75 slighty toasted steins out of 5.

Blanche De Bruxelles:
Light vanilla aroma, thin and pale but doesn't taste bad. Appeals to all of Matt's available taste buds. 3.25 Steins out of 5

Haverhill Leatherlips IPA:
The $2 hooker that leaves her mark. This was bitter to the nose, totally bitter by taste and smelled like cheap apricots. Retha sais it was bitter and fruity and the aptly named Leatherlips gets a unanimous 2.5 steins out of 5.

Cottrell Old Yankee Ale:
By far my favorite ale to date, this sweet, smooth, malty smell was matched with a grainy aftertaste. A very classic ale, this beer has all the character of an old man sitting on the veranda of his once bustling mansion telling stories of years (and beers) gone by. 4 steins out of 5.

Brookly Winter Ale:


-I'm going to bed, I'll finish this post tomorrow. It's gonna be a long one.

Beers 130-149

Tonight was American Macro Brewery night. There are a few in the mix that are not from macro breweries. To top it all off we watched Beer Fest...overall it was a very white trash night. Teddy is our special guest star tonight.

Natural Light
Oh, Natural Light. Lets face it everyone has had some good times with it. It tastes like a bad bad Pilsner and some vomit. Teddy said that it tastes like bad decisions and to me its the taste of summer. 2.25 out of 5 steins

Busch Light
The taste...piss and lemon piss...enough said. It also reminds me of my bad after he's had a few. It really makes me laugh how bad this beer is. 1 out of 5 steins

Bud Light
Matt said that this beer was better when he didn't know what beer was. And for Teddy it reminded him of fishing (don't worry I don't get it either) 2 out of 5 steins

Miller High Life
"Mmmmm tastes like freshman year..." -Teddy (Oh Teddy I love you) I think it smells like Res and Matt said that it smells like old Chinese food (probably from Good Friend). As far as the taste goes, when I taste it I don't feel like I'm living the high life and that's a problem. 2 out of 5 steins

Busch
This one is short and sweet.
1. Smells like piss.
2. Tastes like rice cakes
3. Shitty Aftertaste
1.75 out of 5 steins

Natural Ice
Soooooooo easy to drink. Sadly it smells like yeast and fermented piss and a big surprise to everyone it also tastes like fermented piss. 1.75 out of 5 steins

Miller Lite
I haven't had this in so long that I actually forgot how bad the taste was. The general consensus about it is that we would only drink it if we were drunk and at a bar...that's totally not true if it was in front of us we'd drink it. We just wouldn't buy it. 2.25 out of 5 steins

Coors Light
For a cheap beer Coors Light isn't that bad. Matt enjoys it cause it is his cheap beer of choice. For me I like it because it causes me to make "good decisions" 2.5 steins out of 5

Clausthaler
Smells a bet skunky, but the taste isn't bad for a non-alcoholic. We all agreed that it tastes like tea. I would honestly drink this if someone had it. This is the best non-alcoholic beer I've ever tasted. 3 out of 5 steins

Abita Beer Turbodog
Smooth mocha taste followed by a pleasant aftertaste. Had a very different taste we couldn't really pin point the spices used. This was a very tasty brown ale. "As a fan of Brown ales this interests me." -Matt 3.75 out of 5 steins

Abita Pecan Harvest
"Nice and Sweet" - Wes
"Yummy" - Teddy
"Goooooood" - Me
Matt had no comment
3.5 out of 5 steins

Abita Purple Haze
With an amazingly sweet raspberry flavor this beer is original and tasty. Personally this has been one of my favorites. I will definitely be buying this again. 4 out of 5 steins

Harpoon Smoked Porter
Smells like a Roche beer, we couldn't smell porter. The taste along with the smell is extremely smokey. The guys loved it cause they're into the smokey beers, me not so much. 4 out of 5 steins.

Samuel Adams Winter Lager
If you've been reading this you know that we're big fans of Sam Adams, and this brew is no different. I enjoy most lagers, but this one was fantastic. It went down nice and smooth and you could taste the warm Cinnamon flavor. Matt said that if he could drink Sam Adams everyday for the rest of the rest of his life he would die happy. I second that because Retha + Sam Adams = Love 4 out of 5 steins

Rogue Mocha Porter
Dry, aftertaste which overpowered the mocha. "Tastes a bit like Guinness" - Teddy 4 out of 5 steins

Jahva - Imperial Coffee Stout
Extremely strong coffee taste. This is the type of beer that could put hair on your chest...even mine. This is a very heavy beer. "If tasted in large portions you can taste the beef jerky" -Matt (Damn you and that beef jerky) 3 out of 5 steins

Saxo Belgin Blonde Ale
3 of us hated it. Wes' tongue actually tryed to run away from this beer. Teddy however loved it. His rating was so high that we had to give it 3 out of 5 steins.

Ridge Runner Barely Wine Ale
They like it and I'm tired. 4.25 out of 5 steins

Shipyard Summer Ale
"Winey" -Matt Wes said that is was Bright and told me to shut up and write it down when I asked him what the hell that means, so yeah its bright. Oh yeah and it was yummy. 3.5 out of 5 steins

Coors Non-Alcoholic
Why Anyone would drink this is beyond us. It was terrible. Wes said that it tasted like strained pasta water. The rest of us said that it tasted like old blackberry vines. Had a very strong taste of wood. And our night ended with this comment: "I don't know what animals shit in the rocky mountain water..." -Wes

Side story.

This happened during Wes' "Big Bottle Birthday Weekend," I just never got around to writing the story (and I'm tired of Retha hazing me to write it).

So after a few tastings, Bob joined our adventure. However we had already finished the cookout portion of our adventure. Bob, being a strapping young Irishman, needed some of our delicious spread. However, we had finished eating hours ago (so the grill was long off).

Now, this was a charcoal styled grill. Which if you readers know anything about, means that after a long time of disuse the coals go cold. Also, if you know anything about me, you'd know that I love that style of grill (I bought one the summer prior to this past). Bob didn't know how to use one, and me being the inebriated ex-cook that I am decided to help my friend.

The coals that were in the grill still seemed usable to me (which should have flagged something in my head). So I decided to use them. At this time I added a liberal amount of lighter fluid (as is the general technique for starting a grill of this type). Sitting there with lighter in hand, ready to start the fire, suddenly I exploded.

The coals were still hot enough that the lighter fluid eventually ignited, shooting a giant fire ball at the inebriated ex-cook still applying lighter fluid. I dove in the opposite direction covering my face. What I left out was this was night time. So all people near a window got to watch the spectacle of me exploding and running around making sure I was not ignited. Retha and Wes then saw the giant flash of light (thinking it was a car's headlights) and decided to see what the goings on were. Many people near windows gathered to make sure I was okay.

Upon entering the bathroom I noticed that I had burnt off half of my eyelashes some of my eyebrows and a good bit of my hair. And if you know me at all I really pride myself on my good hair. Which I didn't get cut until about a week ago.

So thats the story, hop you all enjoyed this interjection in your beer readings.

Beers 121-129

I had some free time in between my studying, so I have opted to blog the 9 that are sitting here on my desk. These aren't necessarily beers 121-129, because we finished American Macro night (ended up being two days) before we drank these. But these were consumed prior to us going to The Great International Beer Festival (which Wes will be blogging shortly).

Onto the beer:

Jever
This beer was terrible. Reeked like a skunk. "Wow that's not good" was the first thing Wes could blurt out after taking his first disgusting sip. Which later turned into "Weh" (which is how I choose to onomatopoeia a vomit sound [yea I used onomatopoeia in that way]). After all of our various onomatopoeias we later decided that the beer tasted like a really bad light beer. Therefore... we will shame this beer with a 1.5 of 5 steins.

Lion Stout
Good long lasting head on this one. Which drank very sweetly and smoothly. So you know we're going to give this a good rating... but please keep reading on. This beer had the standard Stout taste to it, but oddly enough, did not had as strong of an after taste as other Stouts. We liked this beer so much that we're going to grant it a magical 4.5 of 5 steins.

Guinness Extra Stout
This was a real dark beer (as expected with any Guinness beer). Surprisingly this beer didn't have the usual coffee taste that Guinness brings. If I closed my eyes I would not have thought this was a Guinness. So we're going to give it a 3.75 of 5 steins.

Gose Leipziger
This was an interesting beer that was brewed with various spices (including but not limited to coriander). Because of this, the beer had a coriander aroma (which Retha was new to... I guess she doesn't spice her food with coriander ever... I don't know... She's never cooked for me... but apparently is good at it...). This beer also had a orangy/cinnamony taste about it. Which made this a very interesting beer to have at our tasting. Due to its difference and cleverness we're giving this beer a 3 out of 5 steins.

Adnams Broadside Ale
This beer was spicy yet sweet and quite robust. To be honest with you guys, I don't have much in the line of notes on this one. But I do remember the beer; and I remember Wes' comment. "It's like the small girl that can surprisingly pick you up" I guess I'd agree (if I knew what that meant). We give this beer a 3.75 out of 5 steins.

Adnams Suffolk Special Bitter
"Tastes thinner than it smells" commented Wes. I put this in because I think it's the best description of this beer. It was pretty average (but good nonetheless). I believe Wes also decided to add, "If I saw it on tap I'd drink it" other than that... this beer was okay. 3.5 steins of 5.

La Choulette Framboise
"This is alcoholic?" (Me). "This is my 5" (Retha). So yea... I think that tells you how we felt about this one. Review over... Wouldn't I be a bitch if I did that to you all? This was a delicious beer that had a tangy yet sweet taste. The scent (and aforementioned taste) was strong of raspberries. In fact in my notes I have "v. good" which (if your incompetent) means very good. 4.5 out of 5 steins.

Specziel Rauchbier
mmMMmm another Rachbier. Wes and I could throw these back all day everyday. This is much lighter than the Aecht Rauchbiers that we blog so much about. When I type lighter, I mean in taste, scent, color, and body. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing for this beer. We'd throw it into the Rauch lager category. Which landed it a 3.75 out of 5 steins.

Aecht Weizen
Yes, we have more Aecht. But since all the beers are relatively the same, I will keep this to a short entry. Smells like the other Aecht beers we've had. Not a strong Weizzen taste. 3.25 out of 5 steins.

Beers 117-120

Well I guess I'll make my posts a little better than Wes'... you know, because I take better notes.

Pinkus Muller Organic Hefe-Weissen
Now this one through me for a curve. Hefe-Weissens are the German wheat beers. Up until this point none of the Hefe-Weissens have tasted as what I recognize as a wheat beer. Until this sexy beast hit the scene. This beer is what I'd call a wheat beer. Retha also found this to be an enjoyable beer. What I found to be some-what strange was the fact that the beer smelt of bananas. Wes decided to throw in, "I knew a hippy drug dealer who drank only this; cuz' it's organic." Due to our overall joy with this brew, we will grant it 4 steins out of 5.

Pinkus Muller Organic UrPils.
This beer threw me for a curve because it smelt like tomato soup (to me). But it did carry a good head that sustained well. This was a deliciously sweet, yet hoppy brew that tasted like a mild Pilsner. But certainly was tasty none-the-less. A tasty 3.75 out of 5 steins.

Pinkus Muller Organic Munster Alt
A what? Okay, well I'll drink it (that wasn't a quote... that was what I think I must have thought before drinking this one). This also carried a mild soup smell; but was definitely sweater than its predecessors. Strangely it was also a little sour (more than the others). But all 3 of the Pinkus beers were definitely similar. That in mind, we will give it a similar rating of 3.75 out of 5 steins.

Aecht Schlenkerla Rauchbier Urbock
Yes, another Aecht. If you have a problem with that have a few of them... then tell me what you think about us trying so many of them. A dark color complimented by the usual Rauchbier smoky aroma (which Wes and I love). Retha didn't really care for this beer. But she doesn't care too much for the genre of beer. So her comments will be omitted from this post. "I love this stuff", yea, that's a comment I will happily post. I don't know if an Urbock is the same as a Bock. But I certainly would not call this a Bock. Either way, I don't care, this was delicious. 4 steins out of 5.

Beers 102-116

This will likely be the shittiest blog entry ever. I took the worst notes ever. I will try to stay true to the post-its and only interject when absolutely necessary.

Interjection 1: "Pump up the Volume" is Christian Slater's best movie, barring "The Wizard".

Sam Adam Light
"Worst Sam Ever" 3

Amstel Light
"You can really smell the tainted water and hooker sweat" 1-

Molson Canadian
Matt, "Not a bad beer" 2

Interjection 2: Christian Slater, "...naked, wearing only a cock ring" Retha, "I'll drink to that!"

Molson Golden
"Sweaty feet and bologna" "Smells like a week old yeast roll" 1.5

Molson Ice
Matt, "My first ice beer" "nothing special" 1

Labatt Blue
"LaBLAH blue!" 1.5

Icehouse
Retha, "Smells like urinal"
Matt, "I thought you said it was good!" .25

Michelob Ultra
Retha, "As good as a fat woman's orgasm!" 1

Interjection 3: the preceding comment was made while watching a fat woman orgasm in Beerfest.

O'doul's
"Smells like corn beef hash, tastes like piss, eats like a whore." 1

Michelob Light
"Spoiled Gingerale"1.5

Interjection 4: It was at this point in the night that Matt sank into the folds of my couch and refused to talk, only waving his hand dismissively when asked questions.

Budweiser A.K.A. Bud Heavy A.K.A. Bud Diesel
- no comment- 1.5

Bud Select
"What?" 1

Coors Original
"the rockies don't taste so great." "Vomit" 2

Miller Genuine Draft
"no comment" (I actually wrote that) 1.5

Bud Ice
- no comment - 1.25

Beer 96-101

yeah, we forgot to log the last beers because we drank them on the night of game 4 of the series. Something about a riot, I can't remember exactly. All I know is our notes were lost. Here's what we do have from the next night that we tasted. One more note for these beers: we didn't rate them. We kinda forgot. oops!

Concord - Rapscallion Premier

This American Blond Ale is sweet, dry and (even though Retha and I think he's crazy) Matt thinks it smells like an IPA. This is very refreshing, so much so that Retha had an alcogasm. Matt also says that women are like beer - full of yeast!

Middle Ages - ImPaled Ale

Obviously this is an IPA. Matt, who isn't crazy after all (but sure is unoriginal) says, "This smells like a pale ale". Also, this is very drinkable. The after taste is a bit short-lived, I wish it would stay longer and cuddle after we were finished.

Brouwerij Van Steenberge N.V - Piraat

At a hefty 10.5%ABV this is a beer that will make you kiss a fat man and rub his bald heads for good luck. This has more head that the underside of a congressman's desk and a strong wheaty taste to boot. I'd let this beauty loot and pillage anytime!

Ridgeway - Seriously Bad Elf

We had this one with pizza. It was really hard to taste with a mouth full of Dijourno, but It was still yummy. I said it tasted like pizza and elf toes, Retha said it tasted like bad Christmas (Come and sit on santa's lap, little girl. Santa promises to be good this time ;)
Piney, not good if you're looking to have a beer that you can dunk your pizza into.

Proceed with caution, particularly when eating with pizza. MSDS sheets available at front desk.

North Coast - Old Rasputin

Shoot it, stab it, poison it, drown it in a river - this beer is strong enough to survive anything. I think I shit a czaress when I woke up in the morning. I could really taste the chocolate! WOOOO! 100 Beers!

Tommyknocker Butthead

Matt - "Pumpkiny behind it all" Smells like a double bock (no shit) . Wes doesn't think it's so sweet, but this is a pretty average craft beer. Retha said nothing and stared at the TV.

That's all for now. Next post: American Macro Part I. The drunkening!!!!!