The left out story...

So Retha and Arlo left out the details of how we acquired beers 17-19+... I will now share the magical story of our pilgrimage to Rhode Island.

Now, we are a simple people from small towns in Massachusetts. But we all attend a college in Southern Mass (about 20min from RI). One day, while listening to the radio in my car, We heard about a liquor store in North Providence (a mere 30min drive from our school). This was no regular liquor store, NO NO! This store offered over 700 different kinds of beer!

The very thought of so much beer decided for Retha and I to make the epic venture south. We were sitting at breakfast on Saturday and it was decided that after our delicious meals we would make the trip. Wes just so happened to be there and had nothing to do, so we included him. After we finish eating, we gathered our various necessities (Michael's book, money, vehicle, etc.). We all piled into my little Jetta and began the journey.

The highway work was a joke; I've traveled to Providence many times. It was when we got down in the area that troubles arose. We were using the mapping functions of a popular search engine, which told us our beloved liquor store was just off of the highway. IT WAS NOT...

After wandering around side streets we decided to start over on the main road. There was this random rehab clinic on a street labeled as the one we wanted. But we found no road, so we decided to enter the building and ask for assistance. Upon entering we saw an unmanned reception desk with a sign saying to use the phone in the case of an emergency. Now I really needed to urinate, so we made the decision to continue. We wondered through the halls until we came upon perhaps the greatest bathroom I have ever used.

The actual room itself was pretty lame... but the door and toilet side was what I enjoyed. Normal bathrooms have just a lock... this one... 2!! So I felt it necessary to lock both. While urinating I noticed an "in case of emergency" switch. It was a little right switch (much like a light switch) with a chord through it. I suppose it was there in case I fell into the toilet while pissing... I dunno...

When I exited the bathroom Wes and Retha approached me and made me aware of the lack of people and a creepy chapel. We then decided it was a Zombie Rehab Clinic. So that we ought to leave immediately. So we ran back to my Jetta noticing that there must have been many zombies because the parking lot was nearly full.

We got back onto the highway and decided to try a different street. After about a mile we found a gas station and decided to ask for directions. Retha went in to get proper directions (via cleavage flashing). After a few minutes she returned with what we thought were good directions. These shitty directions lead us onto a highway that would take us north to my home area. We righted ourselves back toward the Providence area.

We found a new gas station just off of the highway; and so once again Retha entered to show off the goods. The clerks of the station were a large man and a geeky kid. Both of whom had no idea where we were going until Retha bent over the counter. At which time the fat man knew exactly where the liquor store was (about 10mi away). With a new breath of life we got back on the road and eagerly drove. Then all of a sudden, there it was, in a little plaza... Nikki's Liquor!!

This is perhaps the second best store I have ever been in (the one back home is better... we may blog its location later). They had a wide selection of beer, wine, and hard alcohol. This truly was an excellent store. After about a half hour of browsing, we compiled a case and a quarter of custom 6packs (thats 5 6packs for the less mathematically inclined). These 30 beers cost us over $100, but they also set us up until mid October.

This was an epic journey, and I gladly tip my hat to Nikki's Liquors!